- Peta-Gaye Nash
- May 14
Reclaiming Ourselves From The Scroll
My 16 year old daughter called out to me from across the room. “Hey mom.”
I barely looked up from my phone. Another intriguing reel was on Instagram. “Hmmm?”
“Mom, you’re really scaring me.”
I finally looked up. Her forehead was wrinkled. “You’re always on your phone.”
With eyes glazed over, I recalled how the tables had turned. During the pandemic, it was I who kept telling her to get off the phone. ‘I can literally see the damage it’s causing. It’s not doing you any good,’ I’d tell her several times a day. I looked at the phone in my hand. It was hard to put it down and be in the moment.
“You’re right,” I said, putting the phone face down on the sofa. I had to be honest with my daughter. “I don’t know how this happened, but I’m addicted to scrolling. I feel like it happened so suddenly. I think it’s not only because it’s entertaining. It’s because it’s distracting and I’m scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Of everything. Of making the wrong decisions, of facing the world, of not having enough money or time left, of going into work and not doing what I really feel I’m meant to do. Scared that I never get a moment’s rest from the thoughts that constantly plague me. The thoughts never stop. Scrolling makes those thoughts stop. Even if just for a while.”
“Me too,” she said.
“The worst thing is, I feel my vocabulary and my memory slipping. I feel the fragmentation of my brain. I can’t focus anymore. I haven’t even read a book for the sheer pleasure of it in ages and when I try, I turn on the TV instead. I’ve stopped writing. I know it’s the phone.”
She came and sat beside me and we sighed.
“Sometimes I wish I were a teenager in the eighties like you were,” she said.
“Can’t lie. It was great.” We sighed again and then I made the decision to wean myself off the phone. It was getting ridiculous. I regarded my phone as if it held all the answers. I did some research on what the scrolling is really doing to us (yes, it is messing with our minds, our moods and our moments).
The Sneaky Effects of Too Much Screen Time
Phones are amazing, don’t get me wrong. They connect us, inform us, entertain us — sometimes all at once. But when we spend hours glued to our screens, something starts to shift.
Here’s what I’ve noticed (and maybe you have too):
We’re more distracted. Ever try to read a book or even watch a show without picking up your phone "just for a second"? That second turns into 20 minutes of TikTok rabbit holes and Instagram rabbit trails.
We’re more anxious. Constant notifications keep our nervous systems on high alert. Even when we’re not getting a message, we’re checking — just in case. That “just in case” is costing us our peace.
We’re comparing ourselves. Social media is a highlight reel, and when we spend hours looking at other people’s best moments, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short — even when we’re doing okay.
We’re missing out. Not on trends, but on life. On real conversations. On nature. On the chance to sit in silence and actually feel what we’re feeling.
So, What Can We Do?
It would not be possible for most of us to live in a phone free world, but we need space. Space to breathe. Space to think. Space to be.
Here are a few things that have helped me — and might help you too:
1. Start Your Day Screen-Free
Try not to reach for your phone first thing. Stretch. Breathe. Journal. Sip something warm. Let your own voice be the first one you hear.
2. Use “Do Not Disturb” Like a Boss
Set time boundaries. I have “Do Not Disturb” set from 9 p.m. to 9 a.m., and guess what? The world doesn’t end. I sleep better, and I wake up calmer.
3. Unfollow and Mute Generously
If someone’s posts make you feel less-than or anxious, unfollow or mute them. You’re in charge of your feed. Make it a space that inspires, not drains.
4. Set Screen Limits
Most phones now track your screen time. Use that info. Set limits on apps. Challenge yourself to cut it back a bit each week. Even 15 minutes less a day adds up.
5. Relearn Boredom
We’ve forgotten how to just be. Remember staring out the window as a kid? Try that again. Let your mind wander. That’s where creativity lives.
6. Plug Into Real Life
Go for walks. Call a friend instead of texting. Cook something from scratch. Talk to the people in your home. These moments are where the good stuff is.
I’m still learning to unplug, but I’m getting a little better. I am now more aware that when I pick up the phone for no reason but to scroll, it’s to subdue the uneasiness I feel when I’m about to tackle something hard, or do a task I’ve procrastinated on, or when I’m bored. Mindfulness (really being in the present) is harder when the feelings are uncomfortable. Plus let’s face it, relationships take work and I mean all relationships, from the ones with your family, to friends and co-workers. It means making plans, getting ready, having conversations, dealing with different personalities. Sometimes it’s easier to sit alone scrolling, feeling like we are connecting but we’re not. True connection doesn’t come through a screen. I’m pushing myself to make and keep plans with loved ones. When I’m around people, I put my phone away so that I can’t see it.
Then, last week I went to the library.
“Look what I did!” I said excitedly, showing a book to my daughter. “I did something for the sheer pleasure of it, something I used to do all the time and it gave me such joy. I went to the library and borrowed a book. I’m not even going to look at my phone tonight.”
One week later, she came home from school and showed me a book. “I took a page out of your book, mom. I went to the library and borrowed this. Can’t wait to read it.”
